Tree

Leicester 0 - 1 United

Leicester 0 – 1 United

In memory of the Tree, United scrapped to a tense one goal victory with no plan b. Goodnight sweet branchy cunt. Here’s another 5 things learned: 1. Arsenal are very bad 2. Rashford is very good. 3. Don’t do a preview before anyone else you’re wasting your life.

Sunderland vs. United

Sunderland vs. United

(@Benglorious) David Moyes has gone from the heady heights of success with Everton, had a lucky escape from the quagmire that is Manchester United and is now back on top again at the Premiership League’s biggest club-that-plays-in-red-and-white-and-also-won-the-1973-FA-Cup-final. He’s a modern day hero, like Achilles but without the dodgy ankle. We should all aspire to be […]

V.Ice: Fellaini

V.Ice: Fellaini

United 2 - 1 Middlesborough

United 2 – 1 Middlesborough

Middlesborough offered little resilience as the Red and White and a Little Bit of Black and a Little Bit Less of Yellowy Gold Army’s 2016/2017 express train to Titletown pulled into Old Trafford Station, like a train made of goals. Pogba and Martial were the conductors collecting tickets, as the passengers from the North East […]

Everton 1 - 1 United

Everton 1 – 1 United

Marouane Fellaini helped extend United’s impressive unbeaten run to an impressive six (6) games, with a last minute cameo that saw United calve out yet another emphatic draw; cementing their position at the top of the top of mid-table. Jose Mourinho said afterwards, “Who said anything about slicing you up, man? I just wanted to […]

C.D. Burgh: Fellaini

C.D. Burgh: Fellaini

Bournemouth 1 - 3 United

Bournemouth 1 – 3 United

Bournemouth were left speechless – GEDDIT?! cos mouth – as Juan Marta – GEDDIT?! cos sub – Wane Rooney – GEDDIT?! cos last 21 years – and Zlatan Ibrahitthenets – GEDDIT?! cos goals – hit them for six divided by two – GEDDIT?! cos maths and idiom*. If the English Premier League stopped right now […]

Season Review Innit

Season Review Innit

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]

FAC: West Ham 1 – 2 United

Brett’s too busy crying over being stood up for the eightieth time in six days to write this review. Or he’s too busy with work, I forget what he said now.  West Ham were the opponents for this cup game and I bet they wished they’d spent more money on players rather than wasting it […]

CL: United 3 - 1 Brugge

CL: United 3 – 1 Brugge

What a game. I didn’t see it.

United 4 – 2 City

Thought for the day:

Fellaini

Fellaini

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

BifOtherStuffted

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