In memory of the Tree, United scrapped to a tense one goal victory with no plan b. Goodnight sweet branchy cunt. Here’s another 5 things learned: 1. Arsenal are very bad 2. Rashford is very good. 3. Don’t do a preview before anyone else you’re wasting your life.
(@Benglorious) David Moyes has gone from the heady heights of success with Everton, had a lucky escape from the quagmire that is Manchester United and is now back on top again at the Premiership League’s biggest club-that-plays-in-red-and-white-and-also-won-the-1973-FA-Cup-final. He’s a modern day hero, like Achilles but without the dodgy ankle. We should all aspire to be […]
Middlesborough offered little resilience as the Red and White and a Little Bit of Black and a Little Bit Less of Yellowy Gold Army’s 2016/2017 express train to Titletown pulled into Old Trafford Station, like a train made of goals. Pogba and Martial were the conductors collecting tickets, as the passengers from the North East […]
Marouane Fellaini helped extend United’s impressive unbeaten run to an impressive six (6) games, with a last minute cameo that saw United calve out yet another emphatic draw; cementing their position at the top of the top of mid-table. Jose Mourinho said afterwards, “Who said anything about slicing you up, man? I just wanted to […]
Bournemouth were left speechless – GEDDIT?! cos mouth – as Juan Marta – GEDDIT?! cos sub – Wane Rooney – GEDDIT?! cos last 21 years – and Zlatan Ibrahitthenets – GEDDIT?! cos goals – hit them for six divided by two – GEDDIT?! cos maths and idiom*. If the English Premier League stopped right now […]
*Hilarious introduction* @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]
Brett’s too busy crying over being stood up for the eightieth time in six days to write this review. Or he’s too busy with work, I forget what he said now. West Ham were the opponents for this cup game and I bet they wished they’d spent more money on players rather than wasting it […]