EL: United vs. St. Etienne
(@Benglorious) I really like the Europa League. Mostly because we’ve got zero chance of shipping five goals to Bayern Munich. Saint Etienne are the opponents at Old Trafford tonight, and boy do we have some history with them. Google it. Anyway, in lieu of a shite joke about a 90’s indie dance trio, here’s some […]
EFLC: United 4 – 1 West Ham
It was GGMU x Ghost of Fergie x Swashbuckle, as the mighty half dark Reds half light Reds gave the West of Ham one hell of a HAMMERing!** United IRONed** out the crises (creases) in their match day output (outfit), as Zlatan HAMMERed** in a couple, and Tony M HAMMERed** in two also. Elsewhere, Micky […]
EL: United vs. Feyenoord
(@Benglorious) Those two clowns have let that FBA almost-pre-nomination go to their heads recently. So much so that they’re making it look like they told me to write their previews whilst they live the high life, dining on the poshest of foods such as mushrooms and Bisto. Anyway, Firenord are a Dutch team, named […]
City vs. United
Benno (@Benglorious) Writing your preview second usually means something has gone very, horribly wrong with the time/space continuum. That, or those pricks are just trying to show you up. Or you’re on holiday with very little free time to write what with all the sunbathing and drinking. The time/space continuum is probably the right answer. We’ll […]
United vs. Watford
n n Benno (@Benglorious) Henry? Jane? Focus? Mondeo? All potential answers to the ultimate question: Watford? *pause for laugh* Thanks, pretty proud of that one. Opposition Summary: Watford play in a vicarage so they always look forward to their away games where they can play on a full-size pitch and their fans can drink something other than […]
United 3 – 2 Arsenal
MEMPHIS FULL STOP RASHFORD IN BRACKETS. Here’s the 5 things thing: 1) Beating goonsquad is always great (I re-learnt this). 2) I’ve worked out numbers. 3) Mata and Herrera and Memphis are good at football. 4) Marcus Rashford is a hammerlegend. 18) Would happily miss every match if it meant winning them all. 21) No […]
EL: United 5 (6) – 1(3) Mtyjitylityland
Suck on your disappointment haterzzz!!! Bangle’s voyz are so back, they’re practically made of backs!! Rashford is so hot right now: cooking bacon. Back bacon, cos of the back thing earlier. And all the other players are serving up some back bacon too, just a little bit less cooked, cos he’s the Head Chef in […]
FAC: Shrewsbury 0 – 3 United
Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]