FA Cup

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]

The Renonsense under Vangle continues as United go goalistic, with three of those nomerific goals we just love to dine out on. Roonslice’s appetite for records is showing only 50% signs of abating. Titter @ abating. Juan Mata also ladled himself a tasty slice of goal-stew. But the guest of honour at the net-bulging banquet […]

tokyosexwayne  Benno (@Benglorious)   Derby (pronounced Derby) is the UK’s most central city, a great place for a cultural break and a great base to explore nearby Peak District delights. A really friendly place, great value for money and very easy to get around, you’ll feel welcome right from the start, so visit soon and discover Derby for […]

Heard Vangle’s philosophy involves beating all the goals out of the players at half time using a limp effigy of Bebe, naked, crafted from Falcao’s unwashed gussets, left in lost property. Why he left just the gussets I do not know. My source suspects the rest of the underpant material is being used for something […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) “THERE’S ONLY ONE UNITED!!” goes the famous terrace chant, and today the FA Cup proves that football fans are idiots and liars. Things that the FA Cup is yet to prove include: Magic, giants (killed or not) and cup fever. I think we can all agree that the FA Cup has 24 hours to […]

Benno (@Benglorious) By the time you two read this, I will be dead. I don’t know what’s gone wrong here.  That worked so much better in my head with completely different words. Anyway, Arsenal are the visitors tonight for this FA Cup match.  As this is the first time that United and Arsenal will have […]

Special Guest PNE Fan Hanna (@Hannamayj) DIRECTIONS (Assuming no Red has ever been further north than Bolton before) : Go north up the M6 for 30 miles and exit at the Tickled Trout, or Junction 31 to non-Prestonians (we had a town meeting to decide the naming of all major junctions. Probably. Either way, that’s […]

  Benno (@Benglorious) I don’t know much about replays (nobody does) but I really don’t want to sit through that drab 0-0 again (nobody does), so why BT Sport are showing the game again, nobody does.  It would make more sense (the cup’s format, not that previous sentence) for the two teams involved to play […]

Didn’t see it. I did hear Vangle saying everything was against us. Which sounds pretty unfair, and makes coming away with a draw a very sound result. I’ve just made a list of all the things I know (below) and even if it was only these things that were against us it would be especially […]

Benno (@Benglorious) After being forced to make a grovelling apology to the entire writer’s room at Bifurcated Towers for my serious preview last week (THAT WAS THE JOKE FFS), I am pleased to confirm that normal comedy service will be resumed this week after all my internet privileges were revoked and four of my fingers […]

STOP COMING HERE. UNTIL YOU ALL START FOLLOWING @Benglorious – BY FAR THE FUNNIEST AND NICEST OF ALL OF US – YOU’RE JUST NOT WELCOME.