Ben’s Mum

FAC: Everton vs. United

FAC: Everton vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) It’s FA Cup day!! The ultimate pinnacle conclusive game of the season, and we’re in it! This is the payoff we deserve after a hard-fought season, full of ups and downs and shimmys and shakes. *phone rings* “Hello, thanks for calling Bifurcated. How may I help you on this fine day of football?…………Semi-final, you […]

West Brom vs United

West Brom vs United

Benno (@Benglorious): It’s been such a relief having this international break and watching some superb England performances.  I’ve never understood how people can say “club before country”.  Firstly, the national team is obviously better at the football because it’s picked from the best players in the country, which makes their games far more enjoyable to […]

Leicester vs United

Leicester vs United

Benno (@Benglorious): “Lololololo Radamel Falcao!” Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that tens of thousands of people laughing at their club’s latest signing can’t be good for the player in question’s confidence.  This showed last Sunday as the poor bloke started his United career with zero goals.  Seeing as this is what he was hired […]

Sunderland vs United

Sunderland vs United

  Ben (Benglorious): Second game of the season today and my username and password for this site still haven’t been revoked.  In light of this, I’ve decided that I’m going to up my game in the preview stakes and finally put my name on the Top Red map.  Not today, though. After last week’s 1-0 […]

United vs Swansea

United vs Swansea

Ben (Benglorious): When Brent asked me if I wanted to continue previewing United games for the new season, I was more thrilled than I was on my last day at the orphanage.  Christ, I hated working with those whiny kids. It doesn’t really seem that long ago since the last season finished.  Can’t remember how […]

United vs Norwich

United vs Norwich

Ben (Benglorious): The season was over for us long ago, so I still have no idea why I have to write these things.  It’s not like anything momentous has happened at Old Trafford this week…………………………………………………………….. HA!  You were expecting my phone to ring there, but the joke’s on you:  I’ve actually been keeping abreast of […]

Everton vs United

Everton vs United

Ben (Benglorious): Not really sure if there’s any point writing anything today.  Liverpool are cruising to the title as we speak, and I’m pretty sure that is one of the harbingers of the apocalypse.  Don’t quote me on that; it’s been a while since I read that Bible thing.  I suppose I should fulfil my […]

CL: Bayern 3 (4) - (2) 1 United

CL: Bayern 3 (4) – (2) 1 United

Unlike Fergie, Moyes didn’t have the luxury of a Michael Owen on the bench in the big Champions’ League game, or even a Berba to leave out completely … and so the result in the end was inevitable. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Hey?! Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Hey?! *note to self: try mixing […]

CL: Bayern Munich (1) vs (1) United

CL: Bayern Munich (1) vs (1) United

  Ben (Benglorious): It’s here at last.  The big one I’ve been waiting for.  It’s been over a week since I last glued my eyes to something of such importance and intensity.  In the meantime, I’ve had to settle for the non-match of a comfortable win against one of the other Uniteds (I forget which). […]

CL: United vs Bayern Munich

CL: United vs Bayern Munich

Ben (Benglorious): Champions League quarter finals, eh?  Whodathunkit after the season we’ve had, eh?  Hang on…  Why are they called ‘quarter finals’ anyway?  Do the matches only last twenty-two and a half minutes or are we only allowed two and three-quarter players on the pitch?  I suppose nobody will ever know. I did some research […]

United vs City

United vs City

  Ben (Benglorious): For starters, why are they called ‘City’?  They don’t have a cathedral as far as I can remember, just a stadium that nobody can spell the name of.  Regardless of their glaring misnomer, they’re still a team to fear:  literally banging in more goals than West Ham and with far fewer defensive […]

CL: Olympiacos vs United

CL: Olympiacos vs United

. Ben (Benglorious): olimpyacos olympiacos oleempeeyakkos olimpiakos olimpiakos man united olympiacos champions league olympiyakos football olimpeackos fixtures how do you spell olimpiakos [phone rings: *sighs* Yes, Mother?……  Well who else always bloody calls me when I’m doing my words?……  Sorry for snapping, the computer’s playing up……  It ISN’T the Google?!  FFS.  Well how do you…….  O……  L……  Y…… […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

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